Last week could be the most disappointing week of fantasy football. Aaron Rodgers was concussed before he could dominate Detroit, while Greg Jennings forgot how to catch touchdown passes. Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd really miss Josh McDaniels. Dwayne Bowe misses having a competent quarterback. Pittsburgh’s defense did all the scoring for Ben Roethlisberger and Rashard Mendenhall. Megatron treated your team like Optimus Prime (determined to destroy it). Phillip Rivers seems to be determined not to break records. And if you faced Jay Feely ... I’ve got nothing for you.
Well, at least the pizza guy had a good fantasy week.
I was driving home after work late Monday night/Tuesday morning, still smarting over my many fantasy shortcomings this season, and decided to get some food to get over it.
But this crazy game of fake football seems to follow me wherever I go. Before I could place my order, the Pizza Guy — I’ll call him that since I didn’t get his name and frankly didn’t care to find out — asked if I was a football fan.
And he wasn’t asking me this to see if I knew if Brett Favre’s consecutive start streak ended. He was dying to find out how many receiving yards Arian Foster had and if he fumbled.
Pizza Guy obviously was in a tight race and had no means of finding out via the internet. And from covering a holiday tournament for my newspaper from 5 p.m. until around 9:15, I only glanced at the stats before going home. I eventually called my friend for the stats. He won by three points.
Somehow this guy survived all the failures from several fantasy studs in what could be the most disappointing week of fantasy football for so many teams.
Aaron Rodgers was concussed before he could dominate Detroit, while Greg Jennings forgot how to catch touchdown passes. Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd really miss Josh McDaniels. Dwayne Bowe misses having a competent quarterback. Pittsburgh’s defense did all the scoring for Ben Roethlisberger and Rashard Mendenhall. Megatron treated your team like Optimus Prime (determined to destroy it). Phillip Rivers seems to be determined not to break records. And if you faced Jay Feely ... I’ve got nothing for you.
I envied Pizza Guy, even though I’m sure his fantasy team is filled with players he wouldn’t think of owning before the start of the year. Pizza Guy is winning, while the guy ordering a calzone at midnight, may not make it to championship week (Week 16) in any league.
I guess Pizza Guy deserves some credit for surviving such a potentially horrendous week, but a lot of fantasy championship dreams died in Week 14 because there were a bunch of studs that pulled a Clinton Portis — under-performing at the worst possible time.
Why your draft meant nothing
There was a time when I thought a balanced offense in the NFL was a key to being great team. The Houston Texans would beg to differ.
This past summer, I thought drafting a team with depth was a key to contending for a fantasy title. But like the Texans, that only meant your team was full of promise, but ultimately full of it.
I don’t think there’s been a year where the draft has meant less. If you picked up Foster and a few others, you may be singing a different tune, but your team likely is good, great even, if you were fortunate enough to pick up the right people on the waiver wire at the right time.
Which brings us to ...
Pick Six: Waiver wire pickups
Ryan Torain totaled more yards in a half than most had for a whole game. May as well see if he can come close to his numbers from a week ago again against Dallas’ 17th ranked rush defense.
QB: Tennessee’s Kerry Collins, Dallas’ Jon Kitna
RB: Washington’s Ryan Torain, Arizona’s Tim Hightower, Rashad Jennings at Indianapolis (TD vulture express)
WR: New Orleans’ Lance Moore
Pick Six: Week 15 top scorers
Peyton Manning’s playing like himself again and with a juicy matchup against Jacksonville, I can see both he and Reggie Wayne dismantling this the Jaguars yet again.
QB: Indianapolis’ Peyton Manning vs. Jacksonville, New England’s Tom Brady vs. Green Bay (has averaged 25.4 fantasy points in last five weeks)
RB: Oakland’s Darren McFadden vs. Denver (if Hightower, why not McFadden again), Atlanta’s Michael Turner at Seattle
WR: Colts’ Reggie Wayne vs. Jacksonville, Houston’s Andre Johnson at Tennessee (punches landed won’t count, but should)
The Purple Drank list — presented by Tashard Choice
Not only did Tashard Choice fail to show up against Philadelphia, he decided to get Michael Vick’s autograph on national television. After a loss.
And no, getting the autograph for your nephew doesn’t help your case. It’s a home game, Choice.
I’m sure you could have found the visitor’s locker room before or after the game to get it behind closed doors. I’m not under the belief that rival teams should all hate each other during and after games, but you’d have to be taking a few gulps of the Purple Drank if you didn’t see how that could make you and the Cowboys look bad.
QB: NY Jets’ Mark Sanchez at Pittsburgh, Miami’s Chad Henne vs. Buffalo
RB: NY Jets’ LaDainian Tomlinson at Pittsburgh, Seattle’s Marshawn Lynch vs. Atlanta
WR: Carolina’s Steve Smith vs. Arizona, Tennessee’s Randy Moss vs. Houston
Don’t sleep on my sleepers
QB: Tampa Bay’s Josh Freeman vs. Detroit, Oakland’s Jason Campbell vs. Denver
RB: Miami’s Ricky Williams vs. Buffalo, New Orleans’ Pierre Thomas at Baltimore
WR: Bucs’ Arrelious Benn vs. Detroit, Baltimore’s Derrick Mason vs. New Orleans
Joey Baskerville writes his Pick Six Weekly column every Wednesday. He can be reached at email@example.com or @jmark79 on Twitter.